Dilemma: Right vs. Right
Pastoring or Parenting: A Minister's Dilemma
As the pastor of a small church in a rural community, Luke was constantly in demand. Not only did he preach each Sunday and visit those in need during the week, his life was a constant stream of meetings, many of them in the evenings and on weekends, concerning everything from church finances and maintenance to community and civic projects. What's more, he had agreed to serve as "pastor-in-charge" for a church in a neighboring community whose pastor had left the pulpit for emergency reasons.
When school vacation came, therefore, Luke felt it had been months since he had spent a block of time with his youngest child, Joshua, age 14. His wife, who had started a new job several months before, was unable to take time off. And many of Joshua's classmates had gone away with their families, leaving him with little to do. By the second week of the vacation, Luke knew he needed to make some time for the two of them.
He arranged to go to lunch with Joshua on Thursday and then visit one of his son's favorite music stores in a mall about an hour's drive from home. Because of prior commitments, Thursday was the only day he could get away. But they planned their time together carefully, and they were both looking forward to the day. They agreed that, after a seven o'clock men's breakfast at church, Luke would work in his office for about an hour, have a brief meeting at 9:30, and then pick up Joshua around 10:15 to head off.
Partway into the 9:30 meeting, Luke's secretary came in. A hospice nurse had just called from the town where Luke was acting as "pastor-in-charge" to say that a man in his 40s, whose family was peripherally involved with that parish, was close to death. Would Luke please come that afternoon and pay a visit?
Luke was torn. He knew that if death came and he had not made the visit, he could have a very hurt and angry family on his hands--and with good reason. He was ordained to serve his church and, in the spirit of Christ, to serve his community. His parish expected that when he was called, he would respond, especially in times of particular need.
Having been involved with many hospice situations, however, he was also aware that "imminent" death can sometimes mean several days. Having rushed several times to a deathbed only to see the invalid rally and live another two weeks, he wondered whether the same would happen this time. What's more, he knew that pastoral emergencies such as this one always seemed to crop up so as to intrude on family time. And he knew, at bottom, that he was the only father his son had.
There wasn't time to make the visit and still have the outing with his son. That day, with no warning and hardly any time to think it through, he had to decide whether to parent or to pastor. What should he do?
Note: This and other dilemmas on this site come to you without their real-life resolutions. We encourage you to think for yourself about how you might resolve them, since the nature of each dilemma is highly individualistic. In sharing these dilemmas, we do not endorse them in any way, but rather offer them for your consideration.
